ALY ALLEN | THE BLOG

i remember it so vividly, like it was yesterday. i was about 22, in the shower [i know]  where all the best thinking and praying happens, and trying to figure out what i could do to feel like God really loved me. i knew He loved me because i had heard it all my life but i just couldn't shake this feeling that there was something more i could do to make sure. really, i was searching for something that could help me feel like i was worthy of His love . i'm not sure why God chose that day in the shower to finally let it sink in like it did, but this little thought flickered through my scattered brain: there is nothing i could do [or not do] to make God love me any less. He loves me because HE.IS.LOVE. it's just that simple. there's nothing in me that changed His mind or recommended me to Him. He just loves because that's Who He is. and then this second part hit me even harder, because i've always been the good girl who thought i had to earn God's G...

so it's a new year. and i purposely didn't write out my "resolutions" or "goals" on january 1st. i have a couple reasons/excuses for why. 1) it's hard for me to set anything in stone. i'm afraid of failing, and you knowing about it , quite honestly. but i'm over that today. my life is not all buttoned up with a bow on top. not even close. i'm not organized and i'm kinda lazy and i start a lot of things without ever finishing. but the things is?  i think some of you might be that way too, so why should i try to hide that part of myself? we're all in this together, right? 2) i don't like arbitrarily writing things down like i do my christmas list . that's not what a new year is for. i do view it as a fresh start, but not to accomplish all the things i think i want to accomplish . it's not in my nature to finish everything i start anyway, so that's just setting myself up for failure. the last few years i've deci...

i have a little habit. when life starts getting out of hand, i like to make it worse. i'm honestly not sure if it's my own mind, or the enemy planting lies [probably a combination of both], but i will grab onto a tiny little lie and grow it and twist and chew on it until i'm caught up in a full on stronghold. a spiraling episode , i call it. in high school, when i wasn't as aware of what was actually happening, i called it "letting my imagine run wild". i'd come up with scenarios and play out the entire thing to its logical, or illogical, bitter end. a disaster really. a crisis of the mind. a crisis of belief. lately i'd been doing really well when it comes to these episodes, meaning they were becoming fewer and further between. but recently life started feeling heavy. for awhile, i put one foot in front of the other and waded through it. but then i got blindsided. you can call me crazy, but i believe the enemy gives me dreams sometimes. terrible...

in view of the election tomorrow, i wanted to expand a little bit on last week's post about having a pliable faith. you may want to head over and refresh your memory , but basically i urged us to accept God's Word as the standard for our beliefs, instead of creating our own version of Christianity by accepting the things we like, and ignoring the things we don't. as i wrote all that out, i was reminded of something that C.S. Lewis warns about in  Mere Christianity [which, if you haven't read, you absolutely MUST. both christians and non-christians, i think] anyway... brace yourself. it's about to get political up in here. "Most of us are not approaching [politics] in order to find out what Christianity says: we are approaching it in the hope of finding support from Christianity for the views of our own party. We are  looking for an ally when we are offered either a Master, or a Judge." - CS Lewis no matter how hard i try, i've never been able to...

so true, right? not just "materials", but speakers, churches, friends, practices, etc. this quote is from Beth Moore's "Mercy Triumphs" study on James, and she goes on to warn how we can get to the point where we've created our own theology, instead of learning what God has already determined and set forth in His Word and following that. it got me thinking: when we practice this kind of second-hand, "selective" Christianity, we run the very real danger of creating God in our own image , too.  i used to be this person. i believed in a God who i thought was the God of the Bible. i held to a belief system that i thought was based on Biblical principles, and i lived a life that reflected all of this. as a result, i also practiced strongholds that were a consequence of this mess i didn't even realize i had made. after years of picking & choosing and dealing with the consequences, i've learned that the Truth of the Word of Go...

did you all know i have a degree in history? i haven't exactly used it for anything, but i did earn it just the same. one of the major requirements for this degree were two huge research papers that spanned an entire semester each. for the first paper, we were required to choose a topic and then read as many secondary resources as we possibly could on the subject. secondary resources are basically books written by historians who have researched and learned about the topic, and then written a book about it. it's their synthesis and interpretation of their research.  the second paper required that we choose a topic and research all of the primary sources that we could find. we could throw in some secondary resources too, but the main objective was for us to actually practice being a historian ourselves. i wrote my paper on the development of the city of Coronado, see that fancy photo below? sounds fascinating, right? i basically lived in the Coronado library and his...

sometimes i over-analyze things. actually, most of the time i over-analyze things. it can be anything, really. a trip to the grocery store, our monthly budget, a quick remark someone makes to me, a message i believe God wants me to share, how certain events will unfold and what the absolute best way would be to go about them, what people must think of me, and the list goes on. i think and i think and i think. i'm always inside my head. my husband will ask me what i'm thinking about, and honestly? one million things. it would take me a whole day to adequately answer him. in the car, i'm thinking. at home doing my daily mom duties, i'm thinking. always always processing. this is how i get myself into trouble with believing lies. there's a lot going on in my head so if i'm not super careful, lies slip in just as easily as anything else. always analyzing and processing and thinking... must be my  INFP   [introverted, intuitive, feeling, perceiving] personality...

"See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ."  Colossians 2:8 when i read this a few weeks ago it hit me hard. i think it's so easy to go about our days, dealing with the big and little trials of life, relying on human tradition and the basic principles of this world to guide our reactions and dictate our steps. we're human after all, so it makes sense that we'd lean that way. what hit me was how naturally i do this, and how i don't even realize that's what i'm doing, because it's not always obvious. the nature of deception is that you don't necessarily realize you're being deceived . the enemy works in the gray areas. he knows he can't get us if his lies are completely 100% false. instead, he'll use something just slightly off from the Truth so that we'll believe it. he'll keep getting us f...

i was contacted a few months ago by a wonderful young woman named sarah, who had seen my etsy shop and wondered if i'd like to advertise [for free] on her soon-to-be-launched blog ? um, free ad space? of course i said yes.  well, her blog launched yesterday [that's a little screen shot up there. it's pretty, huh?] it's called "speaking of truth" and i had no idea i would love it so much. this girl has a way with words, for sure. you've got to head over and start reading, and subscribe, and go back and read everyday :) just to entice you, here's an excerpt i loved: Within chaos (tension…uncertainty…fear…failure), the weary and mixed up heart of a woman needs to know that she’s held and that she’s okay. She craves the assurance of a compass, something to be trusted, because if she knew she was heading in the right direction—and if she was secure in her destination—she would push through anything. The more that sinks in, the more it hits h...