ALY ALLEN | THE BLOG

"O God of mine, I'll have no idols..." played over Pandora. "O God of Mine", an old song by Rita Springer, is a beautiful hymn-like melody with soothing vocals and peaceful piano music. deep in thought, as i always am, i was struggling with feelings of fear and shame that had been pulling me under the last few months. i'm determined to be free from its grip, so i'm digging in to find the roots and i'm arming myself with Truth and with practical tools. as that phrase sang form the speakers, it just flickered across my mind -- the idol of self sufficiency . i had never named it before, but i finally understood it as a huge aspect of my struggle with fear and a huge aspect of the burden of shame that i carry. (i wrote a little bit about that here ) now you're thinking i must be a planner, a doer, and get-things-done kind of gal. you're thinking i must run a pretty tight ship, i must be type-A. and you'd be wrong. self-sufficiency is a...

i remember it so vividly, like it was yesterday. i was about 22, in the shower [i know]  where all the best thinking and praying happens, and trying to figure out what i could do to feel like God really loved me. i knew He loved me because i had heard it all my life but i just couldn't shake this feeling that there was something more i could do to make sure. really, i was searching for something that could help me feel like i was worthy of His love . i'm not sure why God chose that day in the shower to finally let it sink in like it did, but this little thought flickered through my scattered brain: there is nothing i could do [or not do] to make God love me any less. He loves me because HE.IS.LOVE. it's just that simple. there's nothing in me that changed His mind or recommended me to Him. He just loves because that's Who He is. and then this second part hit me even harder, because i've always been the good girl who thought i had to earn God's G...

i hate to admit it, but i've recently come out of a yucky period in my mothering. i felt entitled and frustrated and defeated most days, and i knew it, but i just couldn't snap out of it and i couldn't figure out what in the world was wrong with me. no amount of resolve or regret would change anything. until i decided to combat it with Truth. i had to sit down and wade through all the muck to determine one basic thing: what lie am i believing? and what is the Truth that will set me free? it's a basic principle i've been learning over the years, but especially through  this book . it's the first question we need to ask ourselves for every stronghold, addiction, or pattern of fear or sin in our lives. all of it stems from a lie that we believe. so for me, in this situation? it was a little toxic cocktail of many lies: •  the lie that life should be easy and smooth.  •  the lie that children should be simple to raise, they should easily follow and obey...