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when you're soul tired

Do you ever get tired? Like, soul tired? Weary, overwhelmed, fed up? I thought so. I do, too. Silly question, I guess. For me it usually happens when lots of little things pile up on each other and it’s hard to find the air. When big things happen, I can trust God to handle them almost automatically, because what other choice is there in circumstances that you know you can’t control? But with little things, we have this tendency to try to juggle them all, try to keep them under control, try to get by in our own strength, until it all comes crashing down in a big mess of tears and frustration. We don’t like asking for help with the everyday stuff, because we think that we shouldn’t need to. We think we can handle it all on our own until that last straw breaks us.

That kind of self-sufficient attitude stems from pride. My pride is the cause of so much hardship and heartache in my life. And we all know that pride is a sin; one that sort of sneaks its way into other sins. It’s ugly and it’s hard to detect most of the time. So we’re left with the juggling, with a self-sufficiency that’s sinful, and an eventual crashing down of everything anyway.

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