so i havent been around for awhile. i know. there was a time, for about six months, where i blogged 3 times a week and had posts planned, written and scheduled a few weeks in advance. i was trying to "grow my blog" but, quite frankly, it didn't work and i got burnt out. that's just the honest truth right there.
the thing is, lately i haven't had time and i haven't felt inspired to share anything. not at the exact moment i'm sitting at the computer anyway. i do miss it though. the few of you who were reading and feeling encouraged by whatever i shared... that was worth it, right? because sometimes it can be discouraging and it can feel downright defeating, like a waste of energy. putting your whole heart out there for 72 people to read and go on with their day. you wonder if it's really futile after awhile. if your time could be better or more wisely spent.
everyone likes to say that you should write whether 20 or 20,000 people are reading, but i wonder if that's really true, and do they realllly believe that? is that in the best interest of my family and is it the best use of my time and resources? when there are piles of laundry and dirty toilets and crying hungry mouths and just one.million.other.things? the sad thing is, if i were making money at this, i could give you a loud and resounding "YES! it's worth it!"
i know it sounds super shallow to say that but the reality for a lot of families (especially when you live somewhere like Southern California) is that the wife/mom has to bring in some kind of income. lots of the time she can do that from home which is a huge blessing, but it doesn't change the fact that she has to do it. so the time has to be managed accordingly. it's just part of life.
but.
you knew there would be a but, right?
the thing is, i know that i need to write. if not for your benefit, then for my sanity. it's just how i am. i think a lot and usually have a lot processing in my mind at any given time. (that's probably why so many of my instagram posts have been getting longer and deeper lately).
so i'm not making any kind of official proclamation. i'm just saying you'll probably hear more from me in the coming weeks. hope that's okay.
oh, and forgive my little rant above.
i wanted to share this with you, too. something i've been thinking about lately, from my new favorite book of all time [here it is on kindle, too]
i made the little graphic with bubble frame + phonto (yes, on my phone)
[also, i thought i should mention that i'm currently typing this on my phone with the "blog go" app for blogger. that's part of why i thought i could start again. a lot more convenient!]
Hey girl! I love your blog and that graphic- too cute!
ReplyDeleteI have felt burnt out and have questioned if anyone actually ever reads my blog as well- but I think even if 2 people are reading and maybe it may encourage that one person- then it's such a blessing!
I like this friend. I wrote a similar (yet also very different) post today about how I've been feeling about numbers lately.
ReplyDeleteLove you.
i totally relate to what you're talking about. i struggle with the same thing almost weekly. praying for both of us that the Lord speaks clearly to our hearts about the right paths for us to take!
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your openness and honesty here. I think that is how most of us who actually enjoy blogging feel. If we are going to pour time and energy and our heart into something we want to feel like it makes a difference. And I for one certainly wouldn't complain if I were compensated for it! I think the hardest thing for me is putting myself out there and then when it seems no one reads or comments it feels like people don't want to know me or people don't think what I have to say is important. I've been following you on Instagram since A Little Too Fluffy but I'm following here now :) And I think it DOES matter even if one person reads and it points them just a little closer to Jesus.
ReplyDeleteI think that's one of the biggest things for me. I want to share and I want it to mean something. when I get vulnerable and pour my heart out, I end up feeling so exposed when no one acknowledges what I've put out there, ya know? it's scary sometimes! of course those are insecurities that I need to work through. I go through seasons where I'm brave and then where I retreat big time.
DeleteYes. I've tried to be more intentional lately about commenting because I know it means a lot to me! I'm storybook_reality too jus in case you didn't realize we were the same person ;)
DeleteI literally feel the exact. same. way. The enemy has been telling me my writing doesn't matter and no one reads it. It's so nice to know that I'm not alone. That's one thing I really love about the blogging community. I look forward to reading more from you!
ReplyDeleteI so relate to the "is it worth it?" feeling. Add one more reader to your list. You've hooked me with this post-- also, with your taste in iphone covers!
ReplyDeletehey I hear you - I am unsure if my audience is 5 or 500 but it helps with my sanity to blog and I LOVE all your prints and there is a scripture that I love about not despising small beginnings and God using the small things to confound the wise so let's keep going shall we!!!! It is OK to take a break but you do have people that rely on you and I bet you pray to God to be useful so let's let him!
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way. It looks like a lot of people feel this way! Way to articulate what so many are thinking. The Lord uses you, Aly. :)
ReplyDeleteI could not refrain from commenting. Very well written!
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