drink deep

right this very second in my heart i want to just reach out and touch God. i feel like maybe i could if i tried really hard. i feel like i might explode from His goodness to me. i'm sitting in starbucks and my mom has had the kids all day, and will have them all night. and my husband is out of town. so i am literally alone and it is heaven on earth in every sense of that phrase. i love being alone. i love being refreshed. i love solitude.

today i also got to sing at my "old" church. i'll just say it felt good. i felt alive for the first time in a loooong time. worshiping God. after nine months off, it was nice to know i could still sing. but it was even better to just worship. to remember that God is always worthy to be praised. it had been a dry nine months, meaning that i hadn't really "experienced" or "felt" God in [musical] worship for awhile. and though i know that many aspects of my life have been poured out in worship over those nine months, i also know that my soul drinks deep of the riches of God when i'm singing to Him like that.

i'm sitting here, in starbucks, with earphones blasting Sarah Reeves' hauntingly beautiful worship album and i want to forget i'm in public and just sing out loud. right here in this starbucks. i'm reading this and i'm reminded of this:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 

Jeremiah 29:11-13

and i'm reminded of how i started praying Ezekiel 36:26 last month because i sensed my heart had become hard:

and how it's happening in ways i never imagined. and even though there are growing pains, there are times i can feel my heart changing in real time, deep in the attics and basements and behind the locked doors. as His Truth takes up residence, it really does transform.

and as tears well up, i just can't think of anything except that He is good. everywhere, He is good. He is good in a baptist church where the pastor wears a suit and tie, and He is good in a non-denominational church where the pastor wears a t-shirt and He is good right here in this starbucks. and that's beautiful and humbling and mind-blowing to me right now.

i don't have anything substantial to really tell you, except let your soul drink deep of God. whatever it is that helps that to happen, go do it. experience Him. and savor Him. and enjoy Him.

and then try to wrap your mind around the fact that this is what we get to do for all eternity.

** i actually wrote this a few months ago but never published it, and it's just been sitting in my drafts for awhile. 

i thought today was a good day to share it because i really need the reminder.