almost no quiet time, barely making it through a day without crying, a lot on my mind, not keeping up on emails or blogs, far from the Lord's presence and peace... you know, just funky. i hate even one day like this, so the few weeks combined have taken their toll.
but this morning i opened my Jesus Calling devotional to this:
It is impossible to praise or thank God too much
Fill up the spare moments of your life with praise and thanksgiving. This joyous discipline will help you live in the intimacy of My Presence.
and then i was reminded of the earth-shattering truths i learned in One Thousand Gifts. things like:
"it is thanksgiving that shapes a theology of trust" pg 152
"if [His] goodnesses toward you end, [He] will cease to exist. As long as there is a God in heaven, there is grace on earth and [He is] the spilling God of the uncontainabel, forever-flowing-love-grace." pg 161
"anything less than gratitude and trust is practical atheism" pg 148
"Thanks is what builds trust." pg 150
"Eucharisteo [a practice of giving thanks] always precedes the miracle" pg 160
"And the miracle of eucharisteo never ends: thanksgiving is what precedes the miracle of that salvation being fully worked out in our lives. Thanksgiving - giving thanks in everything- is what prepare the way for salvation's whole restoration." pg 40
"Eucharisteo is elemental to living the saved life" pg 40
so i'm getting out of the fog. it lifted on its own a little yesterday when we got to see our little peanut on the ultrasound screen. and i'm going to shove it off in the coming days with gratitude and praise. He is worthy of my best, though i know He hasn't become frustrated with me in the meantime. we are never too much for Him, never not enough for Him either. i've kept telling myself over these weeks that God knows. He knows more than i do. He ordained the crazy change in hormones, he sees the warfare that i can't see, He knows the bigger picture. He is always teaching me, even in the valleys and deserts that seem like they'll never end and just pop up for no reason. He is always good.