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a clean slate

one of my very worst qualities, or biggest struggles, or whatever you want to call it?


i'm terrible at prioritizing, i get distracted easily, and quite frankly i like doing things that i like doing. the only problem is that being a grown up means you have to do things you don't like sometimes, too. and sometimes you have to do more stuff you don't like than stuff you do like.

if i get to doing too many chores in a row i end up feeling like my head might explode if i don't sit down and write, or design, or browse etsy, or scroll through instagram, or do something uplifting or fun. you could call me lazy, you could call me a dreamer, but what i'm not is "on top of things."

and when i say "things", i mean the house, mostly. it's what my husband cares about most, and really it's his love language. if the house is messy when he walks in the door, i haven't loved him well that day. which is terrible because i'm worst at that specifically, but i really do love him. and then when he brings it up in discussion, i feel like i'm a terrible wife and homemaker and i'm not enough for him. but he's never said that, i just interpret that through my own sinful lens. do you see how it gets messy? yeah, it's not pretty.

so the last time we had one of these discussions i very honestly and thoroughly explained how it makes me feel when he's disappointed, and he very thoroughly explained what he feels like when the house is a disaster. we both recognized some of our own issues and promised to work on them. most of our discussions, though they can get heated and emotional, are also quite productive and fruitful. i'm thankful for that.

i walked away this particular day feeling very convicted to start prioritizing my time. so i implemented a little thing for myself, and i call it "clean slate":

before i can think about hopping on the computer, designing anything, doing anything that's fun, really? i run around the house like a mad woman, getting laundry going, getting the dishwasher started, picking up, organizing... just getting back to a clean slate. this usually happens at naptime because of course if i picked up the house with my kids still playing, it would make no sense. it would be destroyed within minutes.

but the clean slate helps me feel like i've done my job, at least for that hour, and i can get to the stuff i really want to do.

once naptime is over? mama's playtime is over too... but i always feel so much better that i took care of the stuff that needed to get done, and then got some time for myself too. the biggest thing i've learned is





when you prioritize, all the important stuff gets done. fancy that. now, of course you'd have to ask my husband how he feels about this because he still walks in to a messy house most of the time, but at least i know that i've accomplished a lot that day [and come on, i've picked up the same mess of toys at least seven times already, am i right?] and i can feel good about that.






Comments

  1. Girl, this is a post from God to my stubborn little heart this morning! I am the exact same way as you - and it is literally like you wrote the words from my head. I just went to bed all defeated last night because I had so much to do in the house to get it clean that I didn't accomplish and my husband came home from work and said something about it. All that he has to do is "say something" and I feel like a failure of a wife. So hearing how you plan to get things done so you can move on to the "fun" stuff makes me excited to do the same!! :) Thank you!

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    1. yep, i can tell by some of his looks when he's irritated about it and it immediately sends me into "not-good-enough" world. it's crazy! so although it's still a bit messy when he gets home, i can feel good about what i know i did throughout the day. it helps :)

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  2. Wow, I literally could have written this same post word for word. :) We have the exact same dynamic in my house! My husband feels so loved when the house is clean and tidy. Thankfully, I've got somewhat of a system in place but it's taken almost our entire 7 year marriage to figure it out, ha!

    I forget how I stumbled upon your blog recently but I'm so glad I did!

    ~Bri~

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    Replies
    1. i'm so glad i'm not alone! it took me these 7 years to figure it out, too. i've gone through spurts where i'm really great with it, and then i fall off the wagon, haha! this seems to be working for my short attention span, so far :)

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  3. Ummm....I think you live in my head! This is something I have struggled with forEVer and I am so ready for change! We are about to move out of my parent's house and into our own place after 19 months, and I am so excited about the "clean slate"!

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    1. yes, do it! since it's a quick clean-up, it's never that daunting and then i can sit down and enjoy whatever i'm doing. i actually LIKE a clean house, but i hate getting there so i learn to deal with it. this "clean slate" thing is helping so much!

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  4. I'm so glad I found your blog! And I love this post because this is me exactly. I feel so guilty when I let things go at home....but I just love the FUN stuff so much more! Ok, this may sound crazy, but I downloaded the procrastination hack on my iphone...and that's the way I get things done...it's like 10 minutes of fast work and 2 minutes of play time, then 10 minutes of work (for an hour). I ALSO do speed cleaning and I have a "30 Minute Speed Clean" that I do...my mother actually taught me how to do it....LOL it's kind of my secret cleaning routine!

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  5. ok, i think this is the only difference b/w me and you that i have found so far :)
    i love love a clean house and can spend hours and hours cleaning. the problem with that is that 1. i tend to forget the kids need some of my attention as well. 2. i can not start a project (craft, etc) until that room or area i'm working in is clean or organized. which means projects either don't get started or they sit there unfinished. 3. it makes me a homebody (hermit).
    i really need to try your clean slate program.. and just clean in spurts so that i can actually do something fun with the kids or maybe finally finish one of my projects.
    love your posts and most especially how honest you are :) xoxo

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  6. I totally agree. Doing this weight loss challenge has done way more for my heart than my waistline. The Lord is asking me over and over ...what is REALLY important to you?? Humbling and convicting! Thanks for this post

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  7. Holy moly, I just discovered your blog (and PRINTS! love those!) via Take Heart. I am SO glad I found this... it's just what I need. I feel like I can relate to everything you write and in the midst of all the mommyblogs (which I enjoy reading, but which oftentimes make me feel like I'm not good enough), it's SO refreshing to read a blog that speaks God's truth into my heart. Thank you so much! xo

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