Skip to main content

choosing to see it

These past two months have been killer for me. I couldn't figure it out until one day it just smacked me in the face: somehow I lost my joy. Being in the Word, listening to worship music all day long, reading and writing about His goodness. Even all of that didn't snap me out of it. I have this tendency to allow burdens to pile up unnecessarily. My kids are driving me crazy, my husband has been working a lot, I have deadlines and due dates and to-do lists a mile long. I let that stuff swirl in my head non-stop. I think about it, mull over it, rehearse it, problem-solve it , and even make up scenarios in my mind. As if I need one more thing to think about? My brain is constantly full, taking up all the room I usually like to save for rational or creative or happy thoughts. It's just a jumbled mess in there sometimes.

I''m a melancholy girl, and I can get pretty down when I allow myself to. I can feel down about my own life just as easily as I can about the state of the world, the injustices and huge disparities between those who have and those who have not. If I'm not careful, the enemy can create a burden from my compassionate heart just as easily as he can from my fear or stress or lack of trust in the Lord. He's tricky alright.


  1. Just wanted to say that I so resonated with this post. Thank you for sharing your heart, as always... :-)

  2. Awesome blog!



Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

on embracing disappointment

sometimes it's the hardest thing we'll ever do to pause our ever-moving-forward agendas long enough to see another person. to have compassion and grace and understanding for them, especially when it interferes with our desires, when it means laying down our own needs in order to meet theirs.

our own motives and our own agendas can feel so important and forefront, so that moment of yielding to someone else can feel almost impossible. like a death of sorts.

because you know what? it hurts to die to self. it just does, no matter how insignificant it may seem to an onlooker.

but i'm learning to embrace all of the emotions that come with disappointments like this, not to ignore them or feel shame for experiencing them (probably the hardest part for me). to feel them, acknowledge them, let them sit there while i figure out the next right thing.

it's hard work to live in the tension of wanting to be healthy and magical and able to live above the waves - while still being very…

hope spoken 2014 | a little recap

well. it feels weird to be back here in this space. i haven't regularly blogged for over a year. i'm feeling like it's time for a redesign but that's beside the point. i'm really here to tell you about Hope Spoken conference that i attended in dallas 2 weekends ago. everyone has been saying how they need time to process everything. i'm no exception. what i'm about to share is really an email i wrote to casey and danielle a few days after i got home, but i've edited and expanded a little. there is still so much more in my heart and mind that's not quite ready to come out:

i'm finally sitting down to pour out my heart after such an amazing weekend. the first thing that's hitting me is these three girls went with a dream and a mission and a calling from Jesus, and were brave to walk through the door and keep going, as danielle describes it. i'm sure they imagined how beautiful it would be but i don't think they could have imagined just …

because He became a man

recently i had one of those days where my to-do list consisted of six different super-quick errands. seems simple enough to most people. before kids you could knock them all out in less than an hour and go about your day. but with kids, forget about it. you dread the outing for two days and put it off until you have no more food or toothpaste and your husband is wondering about the dry-cleaning and the alterations.

when you have to strap and unstrap three kids into their carseats for six different super-quick errands, it's a whole new kind of monster. it takes longer to get them in and out of the car than the amount of time we actually spend inside the post office, or the dry cleaner, or the bank. multiply that by six and we're all going crazy.

truly, there needs to be a drive-through dry cleaner, drive through full-service post office window, drive through banking (not just ATM but actually denominations-other-than-twenty banking), and a drive-up pre-order Target service woul…