These past two months have been killer for me. I couldn't figure it out until one day it just smacked me in the face: somehow I lost my joy. Being in the Word, listening to worship music all day long, reading and writing about His goodness. Even all of that didn't snap me out of it. I have this tendency to allow burdens to pile up unnecessarily. My kids are driving me crazy, my husband has been working a lot, I have deadlines and due dates and to-do lists a mile long. I let that stuff swirl in my head non-stop. I think about it, mull over it, rehearse it, problem-solve it , and even make up scenarios in my mind. As if I need one more thing to think about? My brain is constantly full, taking up all the room I usually like to save for rational or creative or happy thoughts. It's just a jumbled mess in there sometimes.
I''m a melancholy girl, and I can get pretty down when I allow myself to. I can feel down about my own life just as easily as I can about the state of the world, the injustices and huge disparities between those who have and those who have not. If I'm not careful, the enemy can create a burden from my compassionate heart just as easily as he can from my fear or stress or lack of trust in the Lord. He's tricky alright.