when i don't know what to do

right now i'm carrying around a burden of knowledge that i wish i didn't have. there are so many crazy things going on in so many lives around me and i wish that i had some answers. i wish i could just make it all go away, and if i'm being really honest, i just flat out wish they'd never told me. knowing is not always good. but alas, i know their secrets and i'm desperate for answers, some way to ease their burden without feeling like i'm being taken under myself. you just feel so helpless when lives are crumbling around you and you're powerless to do anything. have you ever been there? maybe your own life is crumbling and you're feeling hopeless?

the following is a guest post that i wrote for jami a few weeks ago. but oh, how i need it now:

if you're like me, when trouble comes, you immediately scramble to find a solution. you try to solve problems using logical, earthly wisdom, gleaned from your vast pool of experience and knowledge. you want immediate answers and you want to take immediate action. especially when a friend comes to you seeking advice, you feel obligated to solve their problems quickly, or at least give them a morsel of wisdom or thoughtful advice.

in the "age of google", which i'm certain will be defined as an era in history books, we want instant information. we want reasons, explanations, diagnoses. we want answers and we want them now.

but that's not how God works, and it's not how we were meant to live our lives. we're not supposed to have everything figured out. we're not supposed to have all the answers, or always know the right thing to say or do.

we're supposed to lean in to the One who does. we're supposed to commune with and rest in and dialog with the One who knows past present and future, and Who has ordained every one of our days. 

our human knowledge and wisdom are only two-dimensional. we only know past and present, and fragmented ones at that. God knows all things about all people and all circumstances. because He desires relationship with us, He doesn't reveal everything at once. sometimes He never reveals certain things.

but it's all about relationship with Him. if we could do life on our own, we'd have no need of a daily [sometimes hourly] pouring out, seeking, trusting, abiding relationship with Him.

we are finite, but He is infinite:
Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God. Psalm 90:2

we have limited knowledge, but He knows all things:
Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! Romans 11:33

we have limited understanding, but no one can fathom His understanding:
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. Isaiah 40:28

God designed it this way, so that we'd have a need to rely on Him, so we'd have a need to seek wisdom in His word, and so we'd have a need to cry out to Him in prayer.

if you're scrambling for answers right now, i'd encourage you to stop and fix your eyes on Jesus. pray, cry out, simply be in His presence, read His word. i have many verses written out on notecards that i keep with me. sometimes they pertain to a specific situation that i'm dealing with, but most of the time i just need God's Truth to fill my mind instead of the lies that can often echo so much louder. even if you don't find answers, wisdom, clarity, you will most certainly find peace. and the peace that passes understanding is more precious than any definition or diagnosis or answer or understanding that He could ever give us.

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3

i sing the chorus of this song to my daughter daily. usually every nap time and every bedtime.
she always says "mommy, lift my hands!" and she'll sing it along with me sometimes.
so it's constantly running through my mind, and i don't think that's a bad thing:

Lord I surrender all
to Your strong and faithful hand
in everything I will give thanks to you
I'll just trust Your perfect plan

When I don't know what to do
I'll lift my hands
When I don't know what to say
I'll speak your praise
When I don't know where to go
I'll run to your throne
When I don't know what to think
I'll stand on your Truth
When I don't know what to do

Lord I surrender all
though I'll never understand
all the mysteries around me
I'll just trust Your perfect plan

chorus

As I bow my knee
send your perfect peace
send your perfect peace, Lord
As I lift my hands
let Your healing come
let Your healing come to me

"When I don't know what to do" - by Tommy Walker


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