Skip to main content

blossom.

so i haven't blogged in awhile. and i have some reasons why.

i've been busy with real life. you know, trying to keep the laundry pile to a minimum, trying to keep food in the pantry and get dinner on the table at a decent hour. trying to keep a teething baby happy who [if her big sister isn't around to entertain her] only wants to be held, and only while i'm standing. makes it hard to type that way. lately when i've had a free moment i've been designing or drawing or doodling. or just sitting in peace and quiet. the baby hasn't been sleeping through the night. she's been teething and really hating life, which means i'm awake throughout the night and can barely function in the morning. sort of a vicious cycle of sleep deprivation and just surviving the day.

there's been a lot going on though. a lot that i've wanted to write about but haven't had the time or energy.

but also? there's a lot of been scared to write about, if i'm being honest. there's been a lot that i've had opinions about or things i'm learning that i haven't wanted to write about because of what you all will think of me, and what i'm writing.

my family reads this blog, my family and my husband's family [hi guys :)]. a lot of people that i haven't talked to in years read this blog. i know it's a common frustration among bloggers who put themselves out there, knowing that people are reading but not saying anything to them about it or commenting on the posts, etc. and i get that frustration. but we're also putting ourselves out there in a public forum so it's hard to say who's fault it is, right? i can see both sides i guess. in light of that, i have been silent on some things that maybe i think will offend some people or some things that will surprise people about me.

but here's the thing: i am who i am.

and i will constantly change and evolve and develop and grow. that's natural and that's good. i guess what i'm trying to say is that i don't want to be fearful anymore. there's a reason that we call it "working out our faith". because it's something that needs working out, it needs ironing and it needs untying and it needs developing and it needs exercising. i don't want a stagnant faith. i don't want to stay the same for the rest of my adult life. that would be dangerous, in my opinion. there is so much to learn about God and the unsearchable riches of Christ that we will never "arrive". we'll never grasp it all fully, so there will always be more to learn, more ways to be broken and changed and re-made in His likeness. and right now, after 28 years of life, a lot of things i've always believed and ways i've always acted are being shattered and plucked away. in a good way. in a way that leaves less room for me, and more room for Him.

so i guess i'm saying that i'll start writing again. and i'll stop worrying about what everyone thinks. because no one ever accomplished anything by worrying about everyone else. i've always been an "image manager". wanting to control, or at least gently direct, what people think of me. and the truth is that no matter how hard i try, everyone's perceptions of me will always be different from what i had wanted, and different even from one another, based on their own life experiences and worldviews and a million other factors. i'm deceived if i think i'll ever be able to manage everyone's opinion of me and keep it all positive across the board. now that i wrote that out, i see how that's a stronghold and an area that satan would love for me to be stuck. of course he doesn't want me to write. of course he wants to keep me quiet. i think about 2011, and how much a wrote and how good that was for me [and for a lot of you, i think] and i want to be there again. no fear, no obstacles, just writing it out and letting God use it for whatever purposes He has ordained...

i just need to be who i am. everyone will not like me. everyone will not agree with me. but i can sleep at night knowing that God is working and stretching and making me new, and i wasn't afraid to tell you about it. and maybe one of you will read what i've written and be convicted or encouraged or challenged. and that would be worth it, wouldn't it?

so, all of that up there is to say... i've refreshed the blog a bit. it has a new name, a new URL, and a new design. it also gives some cohesiveness with the shop which i like.

blossom: to flourish, bloom. something lovely that gives rich promise.

and that's exactly what i feel like is happening in my life right now. it's a season of growth, possibility, new ideas and new perspective. changing, growing, being challenged and pruned. it's all good stuff and i want to share it with you. so i hope you'll come along for the ride as my life continues to blossom in the vine:

in the words of Jesus---


“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love." [John 15]

Comments

  1. O I love this. I worry a lot about these things and I think most do. This has definitely challenged me and encouraged me to do the same. Thanks!
    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i worried myself silent, you know? so i'm not going to share every little thing because i need to process things out before i share, but i hope to share more once i have a good grasp on whatever it is i'm learning, you know? i hope you do take some risks, too. isn't that why we blog? so others can be encouraged and challenged? thanks for your sweet comment :)
      xo

      Delete
  2. Hey, Lady.
    I just started reading your blog after seeing it advertised on Instagram. It's so artsy and pretty. I have to admit that I took a couple of your sidebar images to help make my generic blog prettier. Take it as a compliment?
    Also - I wanted to read some of the other posts linked to your entry but they say the URL is no longer valid. Perhaps that's because you changed it? Anyway, I thought I'd let you know.
    Keep writing and stay vulnerable. It's always our best side.
    Meg

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hi there meg! so glad you came by, and borrowed some elements. i'm happy to share with you :) so, i think i fixed the URL issue, and it should work now. if not, maybe just click "refresh" to this page and it might fix itself. also, you should be able to click over on the right under "archives" and read anything from there. (you might get a kick out of my "young love" series, since you knew me back then. i stopped right at our first break-up but i plan to write more now that i'm officially back). have a good week! need to head over to your blog too, soon :)

      Delete
    2. Sounds good!
      When I first started my blog, I really wanted a theme. But when it came down to it, I couldn't think of one. It grew organically, in every sense of the word. It is part photo-journal, part introspective, and part political agenda. And if I am to be honest, I think that pretty much sums me up to a T. I love reading the things people write - even when our lives are SO different. I think it is a great strength to hear and understand different opinions. Plus, it is fun to keep in touch with people we knew in high school. It is an absolute joy to watch people we knew as teenagers bloom into stable, well-adjusted, and magnificent adults. We all have such interesting lives filled with hopes, dreams, spouses, children, pets, causes, faith -- and love.
      Thank you for being so willing to share your journey with the world. I think that the world is a better place for it.
      Take care, Aly!
      Meg
      Oh - here is the url of my corner of the cybersphere: www.keepingupwithmeg.blogspot.com

      Delete
  3. i dig the pretty new design. and that instagram picture viewer thingy on the side is awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  4. so glad to have you "back"!
    and can i tell you.. i struggle with this A LOT!!
    keeping silent and worrying about what others will think or if
    i'm even wording my feelings correctly.
    so thank you for your post, i've got some thinking to do.
    and for the record, you have been instrumental in my faith walk..
    just your thoughts on it all give me a new perspective and really enlighten
    things for this girl who is in the beginnings of her walk. xoxo :)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

hope spoken 2014 | a little recap

well. it feels weird to be back here in this space. i haven't regularly blogged for over a year. i'm feeling like it's time for a redesign but that's beside the point. i'm really here to tell you about Hope Spoken conference that i attended in dallas 2 weekends ago. everyone has been saying how they need time to process everything. i'm no exception. what i'm about to share is really an email i wrote to casey and danielle a few days after i got home, but i've edited and expanded a little. there is still so much more in my heart and mind that's not quite ready to come out:

i'm finally sitting down to pour out my heart after such an amazing weekend. the first thing that's hitting me is these three girls went with a dream and a mission and a calling from Jesus, and were brave to walk through the door and keep going, as danielle describes it. i'm sure they imagined how beautiful it would be but i don't think they could have imagined just …

the idol self-sufficiency

"O God of mine, I'll have no idols..." played over Pandora. "O God of Mine", an old song by Rita Springer, is a beautiful hymn-like melody with soothing vocals and peaceful piano music. deep in thought, as i always am, i was struggling with feelings of fear and shame that had been pulling me under the last few months. i'm determined to be free from its grip, so i'm digging in to find the roots and i'm arming myself with Truth and with practical tools. as that phrase sang form the speakers, it just flickered across my mind -- the idol of self sufficiency. i had never named it before, but i finally understood it as a huge aspect of my struggle with fear and a huge aspect of the burden of shame that i carry. (i wrote a little bit about that here)

now you're thinking i must be a planner, a doer, and get-things-done kind of gal. you're thinking i must run a pretty tight ship, i must be type-A.

and you'd be wrong. self-sufficiency is a idol f…

on embracing disappointment

sometimes it's the hardest thing we'll ever do to pause our ever-moving-forward agendas long enough to see another person. to have compassion and grace and understanding for them, especially when it interferes with our desires, when it means laying down our own needs in order to meet theirs.

our own motives and our own agendas can feel so important and forefront, so that moment of yielding to someone else can feel almost impossible. like a death of sorts.

because you know what? it hurts to die to self. it just does, no matter how insignificant it may seem to an onlooker.

but i'm learning to embrace all of the emotions that come with disappointments like this, not to ignore them or feel shame for experiencing them (probably the hardest part for me). to feel them, acknowledge them, let them sit there while i figure out the next right thing.

it's hard work to live in the tension of wanting to be healthy and magical and able to live above the waves - while still being very…