to my firstborn [part two]

when she was born, you kept your distance. your little world had been rocked, but you weren't jealous or rough or inconsiderate. just a little bit reserved. maybe a bit indifferent, maybe a bit curious. that's your way. you stand back until you see how you fit in. a lot like me.

soon enough you began to help in any way you could. i think it was your strategy for getting positive attention from me, a way to keep our relationship strong, to make my life easy. you think about those things and you could tell that taking care of a newborn was hard. you were like a second little mommy to her. you still are. always looking out for her, always letting me know when she's crying, always comforting her. you are a natural big sister. it's a role you were always meant to fill.

i know i expect a lot from you. and you will never know how much i pray for discernment and patience and eyes to see you as the three-year-old little girl that you are. i don't want to put all that responsibility on you, but you accept it so gracefully. i'm thankful for that about you.

she was about six months old when you discovered a playmate in her. her little personality started to interest you, and you loved her in a new way. as little as she is, she sure is a spitfire. ever since you realized she could be your friend, you've intended to eek every ounce of energy out of her that you possibly could, to challenge her beyond my comfort level and help her see what kinds of tricks she was really capable of doing. and she has pretty much obliged. i love that. like you're helping her discover that her that she has wings.

she looks up to you, just as i knew she would. she follows you everywhere, lets you dress her up and wrestle with her and do all kinds of things that make me nervous, thinking she's too little and she'll get hurt. i know it will be a constant process for me. a continual letting-go, accepting that she's growing, that you love her and want the best for her, and that i don't need to protect her from you.

you will have your own bond. a strong one. oh how i pray it's a strong one.

thank you for being the big sister and for shepherding your little sister with each milestone. i couldn't imagine her heart in safer little hands than yours. you are a gem, one of a kind, my forever firstborn, my favorite big girl.

[click to read the first letter]


  1. love this. p.s. what do you have about their bed? is it tissue paper poms?

    1. thanks Lindsey! those are Martha Stewart "modern festive paper flowers" found on Amazon (or maybe even your local craft store).