Skip to main content

sometimes it looks a little different than i imagined

my to-do list looks like most of yours:

laundry [fold & actually put away]
groceries
pick up living room
print orders
dance class
write?
make dinner
pick up dry cleaning
design?
bathtime
hang out with husband

lots of chores and errands and little tasks, with the occasional is-there-time-to-create? thrown in there. i'm a wife and a mom and a home-keeper-together-er and i have a couple part-time-from-home jobs for income, too. i mean, it's pretty much a crap-shoot whether there will be time to create. and lately i've been discouraged over that.

i like to design. i like to write. i like to take in beauty and give out my interpretation of it. i want to write music. i want to practice my non-existent keyboard because the piano still isn't tuned. i want to have a life full of margin and free-time to just do what my brain feels most at-home and my heart feels most at-peace doing.

but that's just not reality. i don't think it's reality for any of us. but that doesn't cancel out the desire, and it doesn't mean that we don't have anything beautiful to offer the world. it just means that we have to steal the moments, or we have to allow it to look a little different than we'd hoped or imagined. we have to settle for a few lines here, a little melody there. half a print started and another one barely finished.


but then when it's time and it can all come together, it's this spiritual experience of meeting with God in His secret place to create something lasting. and when it happens? it's always worth the wait and the struggle and what emerges is a treasure that we get to contribute to a world starving for Truth and art and beauty. i think it's one of God's ways of reminding us that He has called us by name, even though it doesn't always look how we thought it might.

i'm trying to be grateful for those times, even if they're few-and-far-between. but i'm also trying to be grateful for the times when there's no creating. because the things that i am doing are of utmost importance and i'll never get these years back.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

i hope you'll take time to read through these:

by Sarah Bessey | In which art is like manna

by Christa Wells | This one's for the mothers

by Cassidy Robinson | Bloom where you're planted

then watch this video of Christy Knockels.

they've been instrumental in shaping my attitude and perspective here. just knowing that i'm not the only one, you know? if you struggle with what i've shared, you'll be so glad to know that real authors and artists and songwriters and mothers struggle the same way.







Comments

  1. I can't believe I am just now seeing this! I have been slack on blog reading lately... but this was perfect timing. It touched my heart so much. Thank you! And thanks for sharing my post as well. :)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

on embracing disappointment

sometimes it's the hardest thing we'll ever do to pause our ever-moving-forward agendas long enough to see another person. to have compassion and grace and understanding for them, especially when it interferes with our desires, when it means laying down our own needs in order to meet theirs.

our own motives and our own agendas can feel so important and forefront, so that moment of yielding to someone else can feel almost impossible. like a death of sorts.

because you know what? it hurts to die to self. it just does, no matter how insignificant it may seem to an onlooker.

but i'm learning to embrace all of the emotions that come with disappointments like this, not to ignore them or feel shame for experiencing them (probably the hardest part for me). to feel them, acknowledge them, let them sit there while i figure out the next right thing.

it's hard work to live in the tension of wanting to be healthy and magical and able to live above the waves - while still being very…

hope spoken 2014 | a little recap

well. it feels weird to be back here in this space. i haven't regularly blogged for over a year. i'm feeling like it's time for a redesign but that's beside the point. i'm really here to tell you about Hope Spoken conference that i attended in dallas 2 weekends ago. everyone has been saying how they need time to process everything. i'm no exception. what i'm about to share is really an email i wrote to casey and danielle a few days after i got home, but i've edited and expanded a little. there is still so much more in my heart and mind that's not quite ready to come out:

i'm finally sitting down to pour out my heart after such an amazing weekend. the first thing that's hitting me is these three girls went with a dream and a mission and a calling from Jesus, and were brave to walk through the door and keep going, as danielle describes it. i'm sure they imagined how beautiful it would be but i don't think they could have imagined just …

because He became a man

recently i had one of those days where my to-do list consisted of six different super-quick errands. seems simple enough to most people. before kids you could knock them all out in less than an hour and go about your day. but with kids, forget about it. you dread the outing for two days and put it off until you have no more food or toothpaste and your husband is wondering about the dry-cleaning and the alterations.

when you have to strap and unstrap three kids into their carseats for six different super-quick errands, it's a whole new kind of monster. it takes longer to get them in and out of the car than the amount of time we actually spend inside the post office, or the dry cleaner, or the bank. multiply that by six and we're all going crazy.

truly, there needs to be a drive-through dry cleaner, drive through full-service post office window, drive through banking (not just ATM but actually denominations-other-than-twenty banking), and a drive-up pre-order Target service woul…