laundry [fold & actually put away]
pick up living room
pick up dry cleaning
hang out with husband
lots of chores and errands and little tasks, with the occasional is-there-time-to-create? thrown in there. i'm a wife and a mom and a home-keeper-together-er and i have a couple part-time-from-home jobs for income, too. i mean, it's pretty much a crap-shoot whether there will be time to create. and lately i've been discouraged over that.
i like to design. i like to write. i like to take in beauty and give out my interpretation of it. i want to write music. i want to practice my non-existent keyboard because the piano still isn't tuned. i want to have a life full of margin and free-time to just do what my brain feels most at-home and my heart feels most at-peace doing.
but that's just not reality. i don't think it's reality for any of us. but that doesn't cancel out the desire, and it doesn't mean that we don't have anything beautiful to offer the world. it just means that we have to steal the moments, or we have to allow it to look a little different than we'd hoped or imagined. we have to settle for a few lines here, a little melody there. half a print started and another one barely finished.
but then when it's time and it can all come together, it's this spiritual experience of meeting with God in His secret place to create something lasting. and when it happens? it's always worth the wait and the struggle and what emerges is a treasure that we get to contribute to a world starving for Truth and art and beauty. i think it's one of God's ways of reminding us that He has called us by name, even though it doesn't always look how we thought it might.
i'm trying to be grateful for those times, even if they're few-and-far-between. but i'm also trying to be grateful for the times when there's no creating. because the things that i am doing are of utmost importance and i'll never get these years back.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
i hope you'll take time to read through these:
by Sarah Bessey | In which art is like manna
by Christa Wells | This one's for the mothers
by Cassidy Robinson | Bloom where you're planted
then watch this video of Christy Knockels.
they've been instrumental in shaping my attitude and perspective here. just knowing that i'm not the only one, you know? if you struggle with what i've shared, you'll be so glad to know that real authors and artists and songwriters and mothers struggle the same way.